For most of my 65 years I’ve viewed the idea of a Bucket List as an incredibly over-privileged concept. A list of expensive (or at least time & energy intensive) dreams to be fulfilled before leaving this mortal coil, that presumes one has lots of all those resources.
Much of that is a reaction to Bucket Lists shared by peeps who have resources far beyond mine; most especially the time that I, pretty much since birth, have presumed I won’t have. Clearly that presumption was based on inaccurate information. Therapy has helped me understand the root of all that. An expectation of not living past 40 was a major factor in my moving to a different country when it became clear I was going to do so.
There’s more internal stuff that I’ve come to understand, but don’t feel the need to share atm.
Sure I’ve had daydreams- from visiting every Canadian province to rude dreams of sex with certain peeps of fame. Or winning a multi-million lottery prize and building a compound, more like a sub-division, for all of my biologicals that want to stay close. Yes, one of the greatest blessings this openly queer human has is the (decades-long) love and acceptance of those folks who are connected to me by blood.
Creating a Bucket List seemed to be an unnecessary sharing to the universe of yet more ways to throw disappointment on top of my life-long depression.
Far from being ‘totally healed’ but I’m certainly less willing to presume the entirety of this reality is actively working against my happiness.
This image is based on artwork I created some years ago for the Official Romanovsky & Phillips Merchandise Shoppe.
This isn’t my Bucket List: I’m only interested in getting ‘gay married’ if it improves certain future plans; I don’t go to the gym with anyone; I’ll get into RPDR from time to time but not a major passion; and a DNR cruise might be nice but far from a priority. Despite the rumours of right-wing fanatics, I have no desire to destroy civilization.
Although reforming society by moving beyond late-stage capitalism sounds good.
That leaves a ‘sing-along with R&P’. That would be divine, but Paul has quite definitively retired from musical performance. Ron continues to perform live in Santa Fe, but only occasionally including R&P hits. I do sing-along to their albums, although not in the presence of others.
So I now have the Top Priority item for my Bucket List. The successful creation of Family of Lovers and/or WIMP; projects that will recognize and honour the political and musical impact of that ground-breaking gay folk duo.
To make this a List, rather than a single item, here are a few other things that I do want to do before I leave this mortal coil:
- # Have a real conversation with any number of comics and musicians* who’ve helped keep me going (that is, something more substantial than a ‘meet & greet’ or book-signing);
- # Be involved in the production of a #WLIIA super mega extravaganza (8+ ‘contestants’);
- # Attend a 2 Spirit Pow Wow;
- # Visit all 50 US states, each Canadian province and territory;
- # Visit each country within the United Kingdom;
- # Be debt-free;
- # Spend a week at Colonial Williamsburg, staying in a colonial home;
There you have it. My first Bucket List– any assistance in making any of them a reality much appreciated.
* While I’m not immune to fascination with actors and many other peeps of fame, comedy and music have been HUGE parts of how I #survive2thrive.
