I was recently asked, over on Instagram (@briangryphon), about my stories showing my freshly-made bed tagged with #mentalHealthMonday.
Consistently changing my bed linens is an indication that I’m doing well (or at least OK) in finding and maintaining good mental health.
After decades of being a (barely) functional person with Depression (and PTSD, GAD, Dissociative Amnesia, Sexual Compulsion and extensive use of LSD) I’m no longer prepared to accept mere functionality.
So, this year I am Coming Out as a person who is clinically Depressed; having been so since a very young age. I was raised in a family of secrets that lived in 4 towns before starting middle school.
The cPTSD mostly stems from living through the explosion of GRID/ AIDS/ HIV in my gay and kink communities. From fundraising for research and assistance for people living with the condition to hours sitting with folks in the local AIDS Hospice, I can’t even begin to fathom the depths of despair I traveled in just over a decade.
I am working with a Therapist, had a number of Zoom gatherings with my siblings over the family stuff, and have begun taking prescription meds to assist my progress.
For decades I presumed my anxiety and disorientation was driven by my sexual orientation- or society’s reactions thereto. Since losing my Sales Career at the end of 2008, I’ve been coming out from behind multiple masks that go back to pre-verbal beginnings.
Clearly I’m Neurodivergent; somewhere on the Autism Spectrum. At this point I’m unlikely to pursue a formal diagnosis- while reserving my right to change my mind in the future. Neurodiversity isn’t a pathology but yet another variation in a reality that abhors mono-cultures and fundamentalism. Embracing my uniqueness is becoming easier every day.
No shame, no guilt here… I have survived (changed, but still here) so much cr@p that I never could have imagined.
#mentalHealth #survive2thrive
