So- as of about 4 pm today I will have completed my 51st year on Earth, and begin my 52nd. Other than this cough that won’t go away and a long-term bout of unemployment, I’m in pretty good shape. Sure I could use some more time on the Air Walker, eat less of that great food that I love (but which, it seems, does not love my system) and laugh a bit more. But as the saying goes “I’m here, I’m queer; get over your self“.
As part of today’s celebrations, I am listening to the music of Ron Romanovsky – his new solo album (pictured to the left) as well as his work with Paul as Romanovsky + Phillips. You can buy the entire catalog at their Official Website. And in that spirit, I have a short questionnaire for my readers that are “homosexually challenged“:
1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
2. When and where did you decide you were a heterosexual?
3. Is it possible this is just a phase and you will out grow it?
4. Is it possible that your sexual orientation has stemmed from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?
5. Do your parents know you are straight? Do your friends know- how did they react?
6. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it just possible that all you need is a good gay lover?
7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality… can’t you just be who you are and keep it quiet?
8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?
9. Why do heterosexuals try to recruit others into this lifestyle?
10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual… Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?
11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?
12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?
13. How can you become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?
14. Considering the menace of overpopulation how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?
15. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don’t you feel that he or she might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his orher leanings?
16. There seem to very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you to change if you really want to.
17. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
(Martin Rochlin, Ph.D., 1972)