Who Knows What Evil Lurks In The Hearts of Men?

I’ve been asked when will I start uploading videos, set up a Patreon account, and attend Readers Studio to support my Guncle Tarot & Oracle Card Reading enterprise. All very useful tools, apparently successful for many; but not my way- at least the first two. Attending RS is a dream.

Certainly I’m not technophobic. See my oft-repeated stories of learning to write basic on Dad’s early model IBM Personal Computer. My current online presence includes a few websites as well as regular Facebook, Instagram and Twitter activity. Down from owning a dozen domain names, more than 2 dozen various Print On Demand merchandise shops and being active in multiple online forums.

Yes, I do enjoy being sociable online. A big part of that is that after decades of interacting with far too many people I am now in control, more or less, of how much of me is given away.

Working in sales (camera store, art materials, office supplies) was a challenge but the best use of my skills in light of being without a college degree. As an introvert I found that not being in a leadership role in groups helped me focus more on the work than my anxiety. And with my communities dying around me (in my 20s) the work was just too important. In fact, I fully expected not to live another 2 decades.

Jumping ahead- I did indeed live past 40. The 2008 Depression ended my 12 year professional sales career at age 50; and I started to process repressed memories of abuse. Leading to some self-analysis of my sexual addiction. Which then brought forward my survivors’ guilt and the devastating impact that grid/ aids/ hiv had on my communities. Confronting how much of my memory loss is tied to all that repression, and what amount a result of my chemical addictions, is ongoing.

So yah, I am in many ways a mess.

Which not only explains why I’m being careful about my current social media use, it also explains why I decided to bring my card reading services online. Counter-intuitive you say? Rather, I think that being really comfortable working with all those demons (as opposed to merely being perpetually vaguely miserable) allows my intuition, compassion and empathy to be put to good use.

The title of this blog is a throwback to life before I was born. It was the tag line for a radio show, based on comics- “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!“. And ‘shadow work’ is what takes us out of ‘the matrix’ and into our Selves.

The lack of a Guncle Tarot youTube channel is based in my social anxiety. However 2020 will have me more visible, as I’m working toward offering one-on-one live sessions through Skype or Zoom. Still no youTube channel. Stay tuned.

I have yet to establish a Patreon account as that service seems totally transactional- a regular donation in return for specific, continual, rewards or output. Hardly a new approach; think NPR/PBS fundraiser gifts of merch. And perhaps an inevitable aspect of a system driven by a corporatocracy blind to the fact that consumption is a disease.

For the record I would love the opportunity to attend a full Readers Studio. A week with other card readers; socializing, learning new things, seeing new decks, books, etc. The cost of spending a week in/adjacent to NYC, travel, lost income, and the event itself is a thousand (or two) dollars more than I can manifest at this time.

But in the future? Who knows- I do still dream even as I adjust to the current reality.

Related Posts:
An Update On My Memoir;
Living To 60- Big Deal?;
Why I Push ‘Guts’;
Elders

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